I shiver with pleasure the moment I sink my teeth in you. Yes you, bacon you.
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| Coming straight out of the oven. That pepper is spicy and that grease is sweet, y'all. |
So yeah, I blame my love for bacon on the sketchy brunches I had every weekend at Goucher college. I approached bacon with hesitation and wondering since there is no bacon back at the 'Nam where I came from. What started as a school-girl amazement now turns into some sorts of (un)healthy obsession. Well, I know it's bad for you, blah blah blah, but when you lather a cup of brown sugar and two table spoons of mesquite seasoning on it, put it in a 350 degree oven for half an hour, and listen to the bubbly noise of the caramelized sugar making sweet love to its crispiness, you know you can't resist.
My friend Rob and I used to have this ongoing joke about the love for bacon. One of my favorite has to come from The Oatmeal's 6 Reasons Why Bacon is Better Than True Love. Anyway I made a batch of the baked bacon mentioned above to feed my mom for lunch yesterday. I freaked out so much thinking about how much weight she would put on devouring so much bacon all at once like that. I felt obliged to make her green tea to calm her down after such bacon euphoria. I remember sending my friend Rob bacon chocolate bar with a side of green tea chocolate bar to neutralize the effect. Wow, I am so considerate. Oh, I dated a vegan kid several months ago. He fucked the last half a year of my life, so what works most effectively for vengeance? That's right, y'all. It's the bacon. I wish I could de-veganize (is this even a word?) him by stripping him off naked, forcing him to wear a bacon bra, and beating him up with a bacon whip.
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| I got this awesome bacon bra from this guy's Flicker. |
