Doctor Comic - Part 3

Source: Buttersafe

I finally took the MCAT last Friday. The amount of coffee I drank pumped me up so high till I crashed down and slept like a dead log hours later into the night. I've come to the conclusion that the amount of stress you got after the test is inversely proportional to the amount of time you spent studying. Last summer when I took the test, which I failed of course, I didn't have the smallest piece of anxiety or fear or any negative feeling. Now that I spent months preparing, I've been haunted with so much fear regarding my scores, which I will share with you below.

The highest maximum score anyone can get from this test is 45T, with the letter is for the writing samples' score. To be hopefully accepted, you need to have a 27; to be competitive, you need at least a 10 for each of the three sections other than the writings. So here comes the possibilities.

1. I fail it again. My family disowns me so I have to go sell peanuts at the stadium where people watch American football. Don't get me wrong, selling peanuts competitively is an art and if you don't meet your quota, you are fired. As I run toward a waving customer on the horizon, a smiling shady old man smacks my butt, which makes me trip on his cane, spill all of my nuts, break my spine, and get paralyzed from the neck down. "You drop your nuts, little boy," he says. The end of my life.

Doctor Comic - Pas Deux

Source: Buttersafe

This is the second comic that puts doctor, patient, and butt together, just like the one I posted in this entry a while ago. I am being the dullest person on the face of the Earth, doing nothing but pretending to study for the MCAT, which is coming on the second of September. Whenever I think about it, I feel as if I just carelessly step on a baby's face while calling the mom fat or something equally devastating.

Apparently, I don't know how to read actively and critically enough. I guess I daydream too much. For example, below is a sample of how my brain processes a passage as I am reading it with the italic representing my thoughts.

Philosophers Immanuel Kant and David Hume both spent their professional careers searching for a universal principle of morality... ugh, what the fuck, not philosophy again... Considering that they began their searches with seemingly irreconcilable...damned hate big words...ideas of where to look...blah blah...the similarity in the moral systems they constructed is surprising...yeah...yeah my ass is surprising...

And then a brain transplant?

So that's how I fail the so called verbal reasoning on the MCAT, beside my inability to comprehend, I often bear this intense animosity toward the passages themselves. There should be no reason to have such sentiments toward those passages, they are only designed to wear my brain down, lower my overall scores and ultimately prevent me from going to medical schools altogether. As a result, I'd be so green with envy and turn into a giant cucumber when all of my friends touch their first cadavers and contemplate the meaning of life and death. To prevent this from happening, I have come up with several ways to learn how to love those passages: