Doctor Comic - Pas Deux

Source: Buttersafe

This is the second comic that puts doctor, patient, and butt together, just like the one I posted in this entry a while ago. I am being the dullest person on the face of the Earth, doing nothing but pretending to study for the MCAT, which is coming on the second of September. Whenever I think about it, I feel as if I just carelessly step on a baby's face while calling the mom fat or something equally devastating.

Apparently, I don't know how to read actively and critically enough. I guess I daydream too much. For example, below is a sample of how my brain processes a passage as I am reading it with the italic representing my thoughts.

Philosophers Immanuel Kant and David Hume both spent their professional careers searching for a universal principle of morality... ugh, what the fuck, not philosophy again... Considering that they began their searches with seemingly irreconcilable...damned hate big words...ideas of where to look...blah blah...the similarity in the moral systems they constructed is surprising...yeah...yeah my ass is surprising...

And then a brain transplant?

So that's how I fail the so called verbal reasoning on the MCAT, beside my inability to comprehend, I often bear this intense animosity toward the passages themselves. There should be no reason to have such sentiments toward those passages, they are only designed to wear my brain down, lower my overall scores and ultimately prevent me from going to medical schools altogether. As a result, I'd be so green with envy and turn into a giant cucumber when all of my friends touch their first cadavers and contemplate the meaning of life and death. To prevent this from happening, I have come up with several ways to learn how to love those passages:

 1. My brain simply doesn't work. I should start stalking and kidnapping certain smart looking Asian medical students on several medical campus around DC. The ransom money shall be paid for a much-needed brain transplant before and after the exam with guaranteed speedy recovery time.

2. There's a demon of convolution that has been befuddling my studying effort and clouding my mind with inappropriate sexual thoughts. I should go to church this weekend, try to steal some Holy Water, spray it all over my studying material and drink it before and during the breaks of the actual exam. If this works, my mom will be even more encouraged to pray my gay away.

3. The seeming animosity is misleading since it is actually a manifestation of sexual tension. I should rip off a page or two from my practice booklet, take off my pants, wrap the pages around my manhood and rub them rhythmically to relief the tension. This might turn into a fruitful long term relationship.

OMG I'm so brilliant!! You see, I have up to three awesome plans to nail this test right in the ass. Now, I shall stop my bitching here and start determining which plan shall work best for me beside actually studying and practicing for this test. Wish me luck, cultured people of America and the World!