THE 7½ DEATHS OF EVELYN HARDCASTLE

Stuart Turton

Oh boy, Evelyn's murder was quite a theatrical spectacle complete with champagne, a band, and fireworks. What devil trickery of a mind came up with this idea amidst frenemies and merry-making?

Poisoning the bleak landscape of Blackheath manor was another murder exactly 19 years prior. The isolated gothic gloominess served as a perdition that spawned a deluge of dirty secrets, impending deaths, and a plethora of blackmailing materials to keep everybody's panties knotted into a desperate bunch of nervous perspiration. Nobody was reliable, and everybody was his or her worst enemy only secondary to a lurking serial killer and cunning competitor(s) to push the suspense of this twisted who-done-it over the edge .

 The multiple perspectives, twists, and turns commanded my undivided attention and kept me guessing the whole time. The concept was reminiscent of certain episodes of the science fiction anthology television series Black Mirror in its what-the-bloody-hell-just-happened factors; the execution was neatly planned, smartly intricate, curiously teasing with enough red-herrings to feel smart guessing, and somehow ended up a strangely cathartic tale of forgiveness and redemption. 

What a thrilling experience it was!

FRENCH HOUSE IS SO TROPICAL

Working in retails during the holiday means constant blaring of holiday music in the ears. The night is not so silent now if Rudolf can't decide whether "his" Christmas blue is caused by over-laboring or gender confusion. Beside, it's so damn cold outside baby, I can't wait to roast your chestnuts and go fah la lah la lah all over your face. And no, you are not all I want for Christmas, I also want your lovers and all your lovers' revenge, maybe an iPad too. Yes, they manage to throw in a Lady Gaga song once in a while to change the mood. Amen to that. Whether or not you work in retails, you need to break away from an overdose of holiday music, unless you're one of  those people who listen to O Tannenbaum in May just because you can (e.g. my sister.) With that in mind, I offer you a mix of very tropical French house for your listening pleasure. Enjoy!

THE LOVER AND THE HOLIDAY

Holiday Balls

The 21st of December is the shortest day of the year. The lack of sunlight makes me feel like a tragic babushka lamenting over burnt potatoes. Thanks to the glorious spirit of the holiday's commercialization that I can live my excitement vicariously through the experience of others. This girl just bought her mom a 7'' tablet; I'd prefer it somewhere in a neighborhood of 9'' and above, but I guess that will do for the time being. Another girl got a big bag of Christmas beignets, deep-fried to a golden delicious crisp. Hark! Nobody cares about the correlation between a low caloric diet and longevity anymore. For me, I want no tablet nor grease, I just want to bring my lover home and have a very merry gathering with the rest of my family. Below are several possible reasons why I can't. Pick one for your entertainment.